Wednesday, November 9, 2011

leveled

Anger flushing through me
like a waterfall on high
Smashing and thrashing everything in sight,and mentally
picking apart each idea ,every single detail
Trying to shield my emotions so I ask, “can you tell “ ?
Shield, well my name is shields
so has my name become of me?
Blocking and camouflaging every wrong doing.
Till there is none left.
I began to capitulate
but have we reached an agreement?
I fight till I have no breath left in me
I stand up and turn around
leaving behind my corner of fears
and looking at which is before me..my demons
casting each of them one by one till I see
hear or feel no more is site
I am left breathless
with out a doubt I feel accomplished
but before I can ease up
I apprehend
that this is just the begging
level up
to survive in this world you have to be tough
because life its self is rough
so I conjure up my weapons and
allies
no more will I shed tears over preposterous lies
before you try me
look me in the eyes
and see my candle burning
this vigerous spirit im earning
while your wasting time being diserning
im gone
started over
been renewed
its funny I use to associate with people like you
But I moved on
ha,
you should too!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Done

Done With YOU
Done With This Class
Done With this blog
You Were my favorite teacher...
but whatever..my last day was ruined because of you...
hope your really happy and proud about it.!
S M H.!...


ps.. ur Not my mother..at first i thought of u like that..but today changed everything..no more do i have anykind of respect for u...! this is what i deserve it what u said right.? and u were protecting one of ur "children" please..!  since this is what i "deserve" what does the other student u were "protecting".?
They Tried To Warn Me...
But I Didnt Pay Attention...
Tried To Tell Me..
But I Wouldnt Listen..
Now My Heart Hurts
From The Dissappointment Bestowed Upon Me..
Why Couldnt I See this comming
There Were Signs..
But I Ignored Them
There Were Percautions
But I Didnt Care.!
 Why Oh Why Did I Make that Decision
Why Oh Why Just Didnt I Listen..??

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Heavy Thoughts

My emotions fell just like the rain that prickled from the sky! As I
began to fall into this great depression! Everything that I had once knew…

A LIE!...


Have you ever tried to do your best…but it is NEVER good
enough, and doesn’t meet the humane expectations!
What can you do.? After awhile it gets tiring and you soon give up.! I am ready to, but in fear of what would be thought of me! It’s not wining the fight but the fact that you applied yourself to try!
Sitting there calming myself, attempting to resist crying! Fighting
while pieces of me are dying! “R.I.P Calah” can you imagine those
words projected off a realistic object? Will your reaction be as
Intended or an epic disappointment? I need to know I have to
know I got to know…Right…? my heart space...getting REAL tight!
me breatheing everyday..is an indefinanite FIGHT.! because what was there you have taken..so i attempt to push you away.now nothing left to do or say...

You aren’t a necessity…so why are
you here..?Stuck in between the two because I think or thought I
wanted you, but that feeling will soon corrupt, I Promise you!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Foot Steps

i didnt want to...
but i did..!
am i following in my fathers foot steps.?
how did this happen im suppose to be your bestfriend.!
even though i really didnt fit in
this wasnt the way to do it..
is it to late to pretend it didnt happen...take it back..?
im sorry forgive me i just fell off track.!

decisions..!

Now whats next..?
what should i do
what can i do...?
i HAVE to do something.!
there are things that need to be done
i cant tell
for fear people might judge me
my friends know..
but there still kind of above me..!
i have some decision making to do.!

Just A Boy.

They say hes just a "BOY"
hes not a "BOY" but my "MAN"..well.. i WANT him to be
They keep tellin me we just kids but i know were meant to be.!
everytime i see him my heart skips a beat.. im not tryin to be a clesha but
i know he got to be diggin me.! if only i could fit in with his type of class..!
natral beauty like looking through a miror glass.!

YOUR THE ONE FOR ME..!!..JUST WAIT AND SEE.!